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There are few kisses more important and more meaningful than your first one as a married couple. And unless you're an actress, when else will you lock lips while an eager crowd looks on? Here's how to find the memorable middle ground between a passionless peck and a sloppy make-out session.

Close your eyes!

Even if you like to take a quick peek when you kiss in private, you'll be in front of an audience this time. If you've ever watched people kissing with their eyes open, you know how uncomfortable it is. Please don't subject your guests to that.

Do something with your hands.

I always think that couples who kiss with their arms dangling at their sides look like high school drama students portraying Romeo and Juliet, forced to smooch on stage. That's because when your hands are motionless, you don't look like you're truly enjoying the kiss. No, I'm not suggesting you grope each other, but embracing or holding hands is a good idea. Apparently, I put my hands on Paul's face (I kind of look like I'm choking him, don't I? I swear, I wasn't!), and he went for my waist.

Go with the flow.

I think the ceremony kiss is a case when practice doesn't make perfect. It's nerve-racking enough to kiss in front of dozens of people whose eyes are glued on you; I wouldn't recommend adding more anxiety to that by having a rehearsed kiss. The only thing you should decide on beforehand is which direction you'll tilt your heads. Paul and I can't remember if we had this discussion, but our natural inclination is always to lean right, so we didn't wind up nudging noses.

Be passionate yet polite.

A quick peck doesn't suit the occasion (hello, you just got married!). A 20-second workout for your tongues isn't called for, either. Show each other how happy you are to be newly wedded while keeping your many witnesses (possibly including young children) in mind. Whether or not you're marrying in a house of worship, I think this line from The Wedding Singer is a good guideline: "Not porno tongue. Church tongue."


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